My mom passed away on the 10th Nov 2007. The same day i arrived back from a holiday trip from China. I just wanna express my thoughts in this blog since i never got the chance to say anything during her funeral.
Its very sad that she has to leave so early. I never had the chance to say good bye or buy her anything or send her to any oversea trips. Being the younger of 2 children, obviously i always get some special treatment from her. She always cook the dishes that i like, give more portion and my soup bowl seems to be much bigger than the rest of the family.
She practically slough through my education, bought me a notebook PC (costed RM6k at that time for a 386 with 16MB ram!) for my UK education. Suffice to say that the notebook PC was well used and ended its life the moment i reach back home.
She was only a secondary school teacher and to be able to send me to UK for studies, i can understand the sacrifice that she has gone through. During the last few months in UK, i was short of RM4k, and somehow she got the money through "empat ekor". It was quite funny when she revealed that to me later.
During my working days, i have already moved to my own place and once a week, she will cook for me at home. I always look forward to it week after week. She always tells her friends that i only like a handful of dishes. So she will normally cook other dishes for my dad and sis and come weekend, she will cook the same dishes for me again. I dunno, but the food that she cooks has a special flavour in it that i just cannot get from any outside food. It taste "home".
Recently both my parents are planning to move out, so since the house will be messy due to packing, my mom decided that instead of coming home to eat, she will instead cook and "tapau" for me. This went on for a few weeks and everyweek, i always look forward to it. The last meal she cooked was special, it was fried rice with abolone soup!. Just can't get any better than that. My wife, Alyson and i enjoyed the meal so much that night. You know, everytime i take the packed food from my mom, it felt heavy, heavy because it was full of love.
Alyson, being the latest addition to our family tree brought much happiness and bragging rights to my mom. Oh she was so proud of her. She always ask for the latest photos to "show off" to her friends.
My mom was a very sacrificial person, not just for us but also for her elder sister, my aunt. She sacrificed her savings and constantly travelled to Melaka to help them. Sometimes i feel so sad that she has to go through this alone and she does it without expecting any return. This act of kindness went on for years and occasionally i got "mad" at her because i told her that she should spend the money on herself during her retirement. Don't get me wrong, but ask yourself, would you sacrifice something that you wish to have, a car, a new LCD tv, a new digital camera to help your bro or sis settle his/her credit card? My mom would.
She has left and now our lives will need to move on. There is such an empty feeling now without her. Her voice, her laughter, her presence will be greatly missed.
"I LOVE YOU, mummy"
